Expert or Anxious, What Kind of Parent Are You?

Parcoursup is a stressful time for students—and their parents. Discover the two main parental profiles, “expert” and “anxious,” and how each impacts the child’s journey

• Every spring in France, Parcoursup—the national online admissions platform—becomes the center of attention for high school seniors. But while students fill out forms and weigh their futures, parents often find themselves just as invested, if not more.

Two clear parental profiles emerge during this high-stakes season: the “Expert Parent” and the “Anxious Parent.” Both want the best for their child, but their approaches differ—sometimes to the point of creating tension.

The Expert Parent

Confident, informed, and proactive, the Expert Parent sees Parcoursup as a project management challenge. They:

Research every school and program in detail.

Know deadlines by heart.

Encourage their child to diversify choices and back them with solid arguments.

Sometimes take control of the process—drafting motivation letters, checking every application twice.

Impact: While this guidance can be invaluable, it risks overshadowing the student’s autonomy. Children may feel pressured or excluded from decisions meant to shape their own future.

The Anxious Parent

Nervous and emotionally invested, the Anxious Parent experiences Parcoursup as an ordeal. They:

Worry about deadlines being missed.

Fear rejection letters more than their child does.

Compare their teen’s chances with classmates.

Need constant reassurance that “everything will be fine.”

Impact: Their concern is natural, but too much visible stress can increase the child’s anxiety, leading to self-doubt instead of confidence.

Finding the Right Balance

Parcoursup is designed to evaluate students—not parents. Experts suggest that the healthiest approach is somewhere between the two extremes:

🗓️ Be informed, but not controlling. Let your child take the lead while you provide support.

🤝 Offer reassurance, not pressure. Normalize rejection and remind them of multiple possible pathways.

🧭 Encourage autonomy. This is the first step toward adulthood and independence

Whether you recognize yourself as an Expert Parent or an Anxious Parent, remember: Parcoursup is not just about grades and applications. It’s about teaching resilience, independence, and decision-making.

Your role isn’t to live this process in your child’s place, but to walk beside them—supportive, calm, and confident in their abilities.