Caring for a loved one is incredibly rewarding, but it’s also incredibly difficult. And when it comes to a loved one living with Alzheimer’s, the challenge can be really challenging.
“There are different types, including Alzheimer’s disease, Lewy body Alzheimer’s, and frontotemporal Alzheimer’s, just to name a few. Each type of Alzheimer’s presents with unique characteristics. However, progressive cognitive decline is a general symptom of the different types of Alzheimer’s, where cognition becomes more difficult day to day.”
People living with Alzheimer’s need one or more caregivers who can help with daily tasks and personal care, as well as support them in making decisions about health, finances and more.
“Alzheimer’s can cause memory problems, influence poor decision-making and behavioral changes, so caring for someone going through this condition can be really challenging, mentally and physically,” says Dr. Wright. “But it’s important to know that you’re not alone, that there are multiple support options and resources for you and your loved one.”
Learn 5 tips from Dr. Wright for a better experience caring for someone living with Alzheimer’s.
1. Be open to new ways of interacting and communicating
“It’s easy to look at a parent or loved one with Alzheimer’s and see them as they’ve always been,” Dr. Wright adds. “But it’s important to accept that at some point we’re dealing with a very different person. They may look the same, but their behaviors are going to be different, and we can’t just bring them back to normal by faith and willpower.”
Dr. Wright recommends instead adjusting the way we perceive, interact with, and communicate with our loved one. By understanding this difference, we can better interact with them on a day-to-day basis. We might even find better ways to respond to challenging situations that are bound to arise, such as our loved one asking us the same question repeatedly, or forgetting something important, or doing something inappropriate.
“It’s critical to express empathy to your loved one,” Dr. Wright advises. “If you find yourself upset, remember that he or she is not intentionally upsetting you, as he or she has no control over many of his or her own actions.”
2. Measures to avoid stress and conflicts
Alzheimer’s affects how effectively the brain handles stress and confusion. As much as you can, avoid and limit situations that may lead to confrontation or unnecessary change. This may help him feel better.
“Difficult conversations and circumstances will certainly arise, but avoid unnecessary conflict and try not to make small, routine problems bigger,” says Dr. Wright. “Getting into conflict with him or her isn’t fair to you or them.”
Be aware that changing routine or location can cause confusion.
“The brain likes patterns,” Dr. Wright emphasizes. “The more it recognizes its environment and schedule, the more optimally it can function. It’s important to support this principle rather than go against it while caring for someone with Alzheimer’s.”
You can accomplish this by maintaining a normal routine as often as possible. Also, avoid exposing your loved one to new environments frequently or randomly. Try to keep them in their usual environment as much as possible.
3. Recognize dangerous situations and implement precautions
Having memory or decision-making problems can make certain situations unsafe for your loved one. As a caregiver, you’ll need to identify safety issues and be quick to influence solutions.
“The specific precautions needed to keep a loved one safe will likely be highly individualized and depend on the unique characteristics of their Alzheimer’s,” explains Dr. Wright. “However, there are some common issues to be aware of, such as driving and using certain kitchen appliances.” Dr. Wright recommends being aware of the danger areas in your loved one’s home and making them safer.
“For those who are forgetful, cooking on the stove can be dangerous, but the microwave can be a little safer,” adds Dr. Wright. “For those who get lost easily or have trouble making quick decisions, it can be unsafe to drive or go for a walk alone.”
Driving and cooking are activities tied to our sense of independence, so taking them away or limiting them can be challenging and extremely frustrating for the patient. But in this scenario, we must put safety first and know how to address these issues when they arise.
Remember that your loved one may not always be able to understand what is best for them, but you will.
“For example, driving can bring up strong emotions, but you need to be the voice of reason,” explains Dr. Wright. “The best thing you can do is start the conversation in a friendly, non-confrontational way, being sensitive to the emotions and reactions they are experiencing. Remember, be empathetic and sensitive to him or her.”
4. Be proactive instead of reactive
“Alzheimer’s disease is progressive. Caregivers need to recognize when a one-time problem is becoming a pattern. And that’s when they need to act quickly to propose a solution,” says Dr. Wright. “When caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, it’s critical to be proactive, not reactive.”
However, it’s difficult to pinpoint the exact timing of these protective decisions.
A home safety assessment can help you if you are having trouble determining when your loved one needs more care or how that care should be improved:
- Risk your loved one runs
- If there are security problems
- If there are gaps in care
- Next steps to follow
Caring for a parent or loved one with Alzheimer’s disease also brings with it legal, financial and medical issues to consider. Staying one step ahead can take time.
“It’s always harder to implement a solution to a problem than to prevent it,” Dr. Wright cautions. “Being reactive may not only limit solutions in the future, but it delays decision-making, which could negatively impact your loved one’s safety. I recommend starting to plan for these medical and financial decisions early on, ideally as soon as your loved one is diagnosed.”
Making decisions for someone else’s benefit will always be stressful, but researching your options in advance can save you a lot of stress. This is important since, as a caregiver, you’re likely to go through this at some point.
5. Know when to ask for help
When caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, it’s easy to neglect ourselves. But don’t forget about your own physical and mental care.
One of the best things you can do as a caregiver is to allow others to help you by being clear about what you need. Maybe you need help with a meal delivery service or ask a family member to occasionally drive your loved one to a doctor’s appointment. Use this time to relax and recharge.
“The time to bring more people into the caregiving process is a challenge, especially when it comes to leaving a loved one in the hands of medical professionals,” explains Dr. Wright. “In doing so, many may feel like they are giving up on that loved one, and it starts to feel like a lot of conflicting emotions and blame. But the reality is that it is difficult to care for a loved one without help.”
There are many resources for caregivers that will make your trip a more manageable experience.
And when you start to think about needing help on a recurring basis, remember that you are not alone.
“Don’t feel guilty about letting a professional team take care of your loved one when it’s time,” Dr. Wright concludes. “Relying on experts will give you more quality time with your loved one; time when you can enjoy each other, rather than just being there to help complete everyday tasks.”
